My Life As We Know It

Well..


As you know, I am going out with Nicky.. He is the best boyfriend ever.. He is Nere and he fills my heart with Nadzieja.. (:


I also love Kevin Burgos but I know I love Nicky way more so I'd rather stick with him.. (: <3


The issue for today is: I Don't Know Who I Am And Who's Life I'm Living..


When I was in elementary school, I had no friends.. I was the loner of the school..


I didn't have any friends in 6th grade either..


My only friend was my grandma but she was taken away from me in 6th grade..


After that, I was depressed (and still am but I'm trying to get rid of it)..


It's been almost 2 years since April 16, 2008 (The day of her death)..


And, ever since then, I've been a different person..


I stopped being me..


I started acting all happy and hyper as if my life was perfect..


But it wasn't and it never has been..


I'm not even sure who's life I'm living because I know that this isn't the real me..


Starting today, I'm going to try and find the real me..


So, if I'm not acting "like myself" for a while, disregard it because it just means that I'm trying to see if I still have my true self somewhere in me..


I do love Nicky and I always will so don't think I'll dump him after this..


Nothing will change except my personality in a way..


I don't know who the real me is but I'm thinking and hoping it isn't a bad person..


Wish me luck!... (: